Change in the air

I had a BBQ today with some friends from work. It was a good crowd. A small group, but the people I like the most. During the day, conversations inevitably turned to work. The frustrations, the joys, the boredom. I told them I wanted to go part time next year. I have been thinking it for sometime now, but it has not been discussed. I think it took a few people by surprise.

I need air. Space. Time.

I want to job share. Work 3 days a week. Take off 2. It's an ideal balance for me. It's what I did in the first half of 2008. For the 2 days away from my work, I studied art. Studied is an odd term here, because the truth is, I immersed myself in it. And I loved it. I was motivated to continue. Keen to retain the momentum and continue to expand my creative life. It was like a different life and it worked beautifully.

When my brother died last year, I could not imagine what life could now hold. I felt the pain of every day without him and knew I was in no state to make any decisions as to where my life was heading. Knowing I needed change, but not sure how or when to implement it. And so I set into a daily routine to get myself through. I didn't know then what I wanted. And I still don't.

But I do know I need air and I need change.
To me there is nothing more certain than this.

Life is too short. Too short and too precious to be living a life that is exhausted by a job that bores me. And so, right now, to get the space and the air I need, I want to go back to part time. Somehow. I am not sure how. But somehow I know it is what I need to do. To rebalance and to start seeing more clearly again.